No Fart Can Conquer Cigarette Smoke


Sorry, there’s no story about farting and cigarettes, but the title has to do with my thought that I’ll get to after a short ramble. I live in a condo which is connected to some other condos. They are just side by side, no stacking going on. This time of the year, I love to leave the windows and sliding doors open at night to let in the fresh, cool air. Most nights, from about 9 pm to 1 am or so, about every half hour, cigarette smoke invades my home.

It seems to fill up my entire condo, and by the time I smell it, it’s too late to prevent further invasion, for most of it is in here by then. They’re the nasty smelling ones too. I don’t like any cigarette smoke, but some is more tolerable than others. These ones smell like cigarettes that are half rotted and should be incinerated instead of smoked. I’m pretty sure it’s my neighbor to the south of me with whom I’ve never really spoken. I like my hermitness, so I keep hidden from my neighbors mostly. I’ve heard her hit our common wall once because I was playing some music loud late at night. So we both have our pollution, but hers happens much more frequently and causes cancer.

Now, about the post title. I compare cigarette smoke to the worst fart ever. It lingers way longer than a fart, the smell is comparably offensive, and it causes cancer. At least with farts, you can wave them out of the air in most cases, and if not, just move to the next room and wait for it to dissipate. Whenever I see people smoking in a public place, I liken it to someone with the worst gas ever, just standing there proudly letting it flow freely and fanning it all around for everyone to smell. It’s the same principle, only much worse.

Maybe because people don’t choose to have gas, they try to hold it in or at least be sly about it and let it out where nobody will notice. People who smoke chose to start smoking and must be more proud of it or something. It really seemed to me that smoking would have started disappearing about a decade ago and eventually be something rarely seen except among rougher neighborhoods. It blows my mind when I see young people smoking. My whole life, the dangers of smoking have been publicized to the point where everyone who understands English should know what it does to you. Yet people continue to start smoking.

Anyway, I guess I’ll end my rant here. I’m sure if some smokers came across this page I may have offended them, but they all offend me with each puff (in regards to this post I’d say this is a different kind of offense taken), so as the British say, piss off! (Haha, love that saying.)

Comments (7)

I agree with every word, sir. Cigarette smoke is the foulest of the foul.

Sorry about the smoke inhalation. I don’t get how people decide to start smoking either. My cousin smokes, and I want to know how that happened–when does one decide to go into a gas station and buy cigarettes because that’s the day they are going to start getting cancer. Maybe I have the process all wrong–but still.

Also, Thank you so much for the help in moving Monday!

Sure thing ma’am. I didn’t stick around as long as I should have perhaps, but I was there longer than Tomp! Haha.

Not sure if you remember me, but Casey directed me to this post and I can’t stop myself from commenting on how great this was. Hilarious and well written. You should be one of those people making a living off of blogging 🙂

Hey Kelly, I do remember you. I’m sure we had at least one class together at Dixie. I think I had a class or two with Casey as well. Thanks for the good words!

[…] moment is my neighbor Lou, he is retired and alone and his only companion is his smoking. Remember that post about how I feel about smokers? Yeah, my mistake on not noticing that his smoke creeps into this […]

When I was in high school, I was on the SADD council. (Students Against Destructive Decisions) We would try and do a campaign every year to try and deter students from smoking. One year, we made T-shirts saying, “Having a smoking section in a restaurant, is like having a peeing section in a pool.” I always loved it. You might have heard it before.

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