The Masked Couple


Oh boy did I see me a doozy today at work! I was doing one of my glamorous duties by changing out some lights in the furniture store. While up on the ladder, I noticed a guy walk buy who was holding some kind of face mask filter to his face. I looked to see if there was a hose connected to oxygen, even though he was probably around 50 years old and looked healthy, but found no such thing. As far as mask filter things go, it was about the nicest I’ve ever seen, looked a little like this here. He was holding it up with his hand, and I couldn’t see any straps, kind of strange I thought. So I went back to my business, then heard some more footsteps behind me. I turned to see a woman walking by doing the very same thing! For a moment, I felt like I was in some crazy science fiction end of the world movie and I hadn’t been clued in to the imminent disaster.

The two mask people were apparently in cahoots, as I saw them talk to each other. I tried to make out what they were saying, but, believe it or not, their words were plenty muffled by these crazy masks. I heard the lady say something half-panicked sounding that sounded like “Let’s get out of here, I can’t [muffled word, but I imagine it was breath]. The two looked paranoid to the point where if approached by a sales person, they would turn and run for the exit, knocking down anything in their paths. I later wished I had started violently coughing up a lung when I was within their same area. That would’ve been a fun little game.

So my best guess is that they both have bad allergies, and this mask solution is the best they could do. My first thought was that they are both hypochondriacs and must have met in the emergency room when both of them had a sneeze attack or something. Whatever the case may be, seeing things like that does a couple things to me: 1) Gives me a good reason to smile and chuckle a bit, and 2) makes me glad that I haven’t hit that level of weirdness…yet…well, at least not in public.

Comments (2)

That was quite bizarre. You should have started coughing like you mentioned, that would have ruled. Now, if it was just one person out of the couple who had the mask, we could have given them the benefit of the doubt, like maybe they do have bad allergies, or perhaps they are having chemo and need to breath clean air to avoid risk of infection. BUT, when a couple is doing this it really takes on a new category of weirdness. In all seriousness, they sound dang near crazy to me.

Now about your coughing joke, that reminds me when i was at the Grand Canyon when I was around 18. Along the trail it looked like it was the edge of the canyon so from the benches it looked like the big drop off. In reality is was a 3-4 shelf than went to sloping ground that had a gentle slope until the real cliff around 100 ft away. I walked to the shelf and jumped off….and almost gave an old lady sitting on the bench a heart attack as she thought I had fallen to my death.

Hahaha, great move there! That’s awesome.