Amazing Talents


I’m a fidgeter. When I have something in hand, I constantly toss it around, flipping it, catching it, juggling it, and whatever else I can do with it. I guess I’m just easy to entertain. At my current job as a couch pusher at a furniture store, I’m usually walking from one place to another with something in my hand. That thing could be a utility knife, a bottle of water, a hammer, a cardboard box, or any vast array of things.

A way to make the fidgiting more fun is to try and hit a target or get something to land on a target. Of course, tossing things into garbage cans (I’d like to transition into calling them rubbish bins one day) is always a fun one. Spitting gum is one of my finely tuned talents. Probably my most shining moment at my job was something that happened in the warehouse one day. I was standing in a spot that was about 25 feet (yeah, we measured it after the amazing feat) from a small, office desk size garbage can and about 15 feet from a bigger trash can. I hollered at a co-worker and asked him where I should spit my gum, so he said to go for the small one, which was out of my site, but I knew where it was by his desk. I accepted the challenge, rolled the gum into a nice ball, placed it on my tongue, inhaled, and launched that sucker. It was quiet, then I heard a slight ripple of the plastic bag that was in the can. Nothing but net! That started a pretty good streak of gum spitting.

Anyway, my point is that life is more fun if you try stuff like that from time to time. Right now at my work, I think there is one quarter, three water bottles, and four rubber bands in the rafters of the warehouse that will probably be there for many years after I leave. It’s funny, I don’t worry about getting caught doing those things because if someone is watching when one of them successfully lands on the target, they’re stunned and impressed. The rate of success is probably about 1%, but it’s totally worth it when it finally works out. I figure if I ever work in a cubicle jungle (won’t happen) my neighbors will have to get used to things flying over their heads or into their cubicles.

Finally, here’s a video made by some guys who seem to think exactly like me:

Comments (3)

I’m known at my internship as the “water bottle flipper.” I’m constantly flipping my bottles of water and nalgene bottle into the air. I’ve worked out that a regular water bottle needs to be about 1/3 full to facilitate optimal flippage. I practice with both hands just for fun. I’m glad I’m not the only one who does things like this.

My brother and I came up with the “Honorary Ninja” title. This title is given when someone one tries something amazing they called before hand and it actually happens. One instance was when I had a piece of shelving ( a triangular flat piece of metal) and I chucked it all the way across the street where it embedded itself into a wooden stop sign pole. That was my first honorary ninja title. I have had several titles since, to the amazement of those around me.

The best is when you do it on the first try when you’ve told some one “hey, check this out.” They stand there in awe like you have some magical powers.

Jared, good call on the 1/3 full. I will frequently sacrifice that last bit so I can get a good toss with the bottle. Keb, that’s awesome. And yeah, it’s that much better when you make it look like it’s no big deal, first try. That’s when you have to play it cool and walk away quick so you can celebrate on your own, or at least away from the person who thinks you have super powers.