Booty Slapping


When I see a nice round booty, I’m gonna slap it, just as many a straight man would.

Sometimes, the slap comes before the thought process. Yesterday at work, a good friend and co-worker of mine was standing in a very visible place with her butt asking to be slapped. I decided to comply, so I walked right by and gave it a nice open handed whack. Only at that moment as the sound echoed off the walls did I realize the possible consequences of what my hand just did.

I continued through to where I was headed, then on the way back checked with her to make sure she wasn’t upset by it (naturally, she wasn’t), and went on my way. About 10 minutes later my name was paged over the intercom to go to see someone with whom I never deal in normal work situations. I reported and sure enough, it was “write-up” time. I was told this write-up would go to my team leader. I was relieved, because I was sure she’d have a good laugh about it. She’s in Hawaii right now on a vacation, and will be back on Monday.

I found out today that Human Resources was also made aware of the situation. So today, the very guy I had an interview with to get the job came and had me sign the write-up. He’s a cool guy and probably chuckled a bit about the story when he heard of it. I signed and all was well.

That write-up is an official warning that makes the next offense punishable by extermination. The beauty of it is that it serves no other purpose. Of course I will not repeat what I did, so I figure that was a sexual harrassment freebie that I’ve now exhausted.

Now I pay attention to co-workers who have heard the story and how they approach me. The guys all seem to have a new respect for me, and I’ve seen no difference (this could be a placebo, but some seem to be nicer to me) from the ladies. Ah, life is good!

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