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I Don’t Like Surfing

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Most people who know me would assume I’d enjoy surfing. My passion is wakeboarding, I even moved to Florida to teach people how to wakeboard, I ride all the time, teach many people, and love the sport. Wakeboarding naturally gets associated with surfing. In fact, most wakeboarders who have surfed seem to really enjoy it as well as wakeboarding. Not me.

Now it’s true, I haven’t really given it a full chance, but I feel that with the little time I’ve put into it, surfing will never be something I’ll want to do on my own free will.

Surfing

The best use of a surf board.

Here’s why.

As a wakeboarder, especially an instructor in central Florida, I am very lucky to have access to many perfect wakeboard boats. The lakes here couldn’t be better for the sport, the water is usually flat, you can ride year round, and I usually ride with people at least as good as me, if not much better. I’m no slouch, but I coach the women’s World Champion, and am friends with many of the best in the sport. Yes, I’m very lucky, and I love it!

Those boats put out a perfectly shaped, massive, and consistent wake. I can ride that for as long as my body can take it. I don’t have to chase that wake, all I have to do is hold onto the handle at the end of the rope and enjoy! When I crash, I can catch my breath, relax, and wait to get picked up again for another perfect wake. I get to jump high in the air, do spins, flips, and grabs, and I know I can count on the wake to be there for me every time. And all of this takes place in pleasant fresh water.

Now let’s look at surfing.

This last time I joined a friend to try surfing went like this. I spent about ten minutes paddling out into the waves. I’m in Florida, so they weren’t very large waves, but it still took me a while because I didn’t know what I was doing, and I was in the ocean with waves pushing against me. Once I got to where it looked like I might be able to catch a wave, I tried to figure out the best way to do that. True, I have no training, but I’m comfortable standing on the water at least. I managed to “catch a wave” fairly quickly, but the whole time I was moving back toward the beach, I was considering crashing so I could save some paddle time on the way back out.

Each glorious wave I caught lasted less than ten seconds (yeah, I’m not good at it), and with salt water in my sinuses and back of my throat, I would spend another five to ten minutes paddling back out into the waves in hopes of awkwardly standing on a big slow board for a few seconds with no chance of jumping or doing any tricks.

I mentioned that I was with a friend. That was fun because we paddled out together for about two minutes, then he was much further out than me, and we were too far apart to even see each other for the rest of the hour and a half or so.

So to sum it up, I wakeboard in fresh water with big wakes and nice boats where I get to do all the tricks I can think to try. All my effort goes into actually standing on the water, moving around and getting up in the air. When I surf, it’s paddling into nasty salt water waves trying to push me backwards for about 98% of the time, then getting pushed back to the shore the other 2% of the time. Yes, to me, surfing equals getting pushed back to shore so you can get another great paddling workout…all with nasty salt water in every part of your body.

Oh, and one last thing, even wake surfing is terrible.

Healthy Eating is Annoying

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Well, transitioning to more healthy eating is annoying. I had a great holiday season and new year of eating pounds of delicious sugary breads and desserts and turkey and everything I could find. Not much fruit or vegetables of course. And yes, the beginning of the year is when I like to really eat poorly, throwing out any chance of any kind of resolution.

DeliciousThe problem is that I’ve become tired of this good old spare tire around the stomach and lower back area. So hey, I figured I’d start eating healthier. That first trip to the grocery store was pretty wild, I’ve never bought more produce at one time in my life! Turns out I didn’t need to buy that many vegetables at once. They go bad quicker than I can eat them, which is nice to know now. Fruits, I burn through those, I like at least half of them a lot. Strawberries, raspberries, any berries really, and bananas, peaches, and melons. That was a boring list!

That first week was annoying because I’d eat a meal, say some chicken and vegetables, and feel just as hungry as when I started. After 10 days maybe though, I got used to the feeling of not gorging myself on delicious carbs. It actually feels pretty good to my insides to not eat that kind of stuff now, but it’s annoying.

You see, when the Orlando Magic win a basketball game, which is fairly rare lately, the local Papa John’s pizza shops have a 50% discount on everything the following day. They won on Sunday, so I got me a big old delicious pizza on Monday! The problem was that it tasted medium now, I guess I’m getting used to less salty/greasy stuff, and I felt all bloated and what not afterwards! I couldn’t even enjoy delicious unhealthy food. Healthy stuff tastes good now! See my problem?

So Tuesday morning, I went to the store and stocked up on fruit. Most of my favorites were on sale. I think that was the only time I bought nothing other than fruit – that was weird. I guess we’ll see how long this holds up. Now, I’m not doing anything full on, I’ll still have toast and some pasta and whatever occasionally, but overall, less food, and more healthy types of the stuff. The blandness is becoming flavorful, which I guess I should be happy about. I just hope that next time the smell of a Cinnabon lures me over and I cram that down my gullet, that I still enjoy it!

The Media is Evil

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Yep, that’s one common idea with which I agree. Lately, all the fuss is about the two people killed by police, Michael Brown and Eric Garner. In each case the cop was white and the person killed was black. They are terrible things that happened. Everybody has an opinion on something to do with those events. I’m going to spare you my thoughts on the cases directly, and talk about something else; the media, and they couldn’t be more thrilled that these deaths occurred in such a way.

When I say the media, I mean the news (all forms, TV, print, web, radio) and sitcoms. Over the past decade or so, these so called criminal justice shows (or Informative Murder Porn as South Park more accurately calls them) have become ridiculously popular. I think there are about 30 of them currently running, possibly more, who even knows! I hate them. All they do is glorify murder. I don’t care if you think they are interesting because of the creative way these actors solve crimes by enhancing security camera footage and collecting semen. They simply put the idea that murder is a common, and even acceptable, thing into the minds of the viewers. That’s my first point: the media loves murder because it makes them money.

ABC's promotion of murder and racism.My second point is that racial issues are still existent because the media tells us we should be racist. They love that stuff! In my life, as far as I can recall, nothing racist has ever happened in front of my own eyes. Now, I’m pretty ignorant at times, and may have missed something, but if I never saw or heard any media, I wouldn’t know there was such a thing as racism. I’ve lived in Oregon, New York, Utah, and Florida. If racism is as common as it’s made out to be, I think I would run into it weekly. I don’t.

I’m not saying there isn’t racism, there surely is still some today. What I’m saying is that it’s a tiny percentage of people who have darkness in their hearts that are racist. Most people are good by nature, it’s true. I don’t necessarily care for most people, but they are generally good, and want to do others no harm.

All of this brings me to the fact that the media is pushing and working hard to ensure that racism and murder don’t go away. Why? They are getting filthy stinking rich from both of those things. See that picture there? Those are two new shows, in 2014, yes, 2014, that encourage murder and racism. They are on ABC, a major network that airs on any TV for free, and in this time of equal opportunity and topical awareness, they are promoting murder and racism. Is there any other way to look at it? I have no idea what either show is about, but from the ads, I suppose one is informative murder porn, and the other is a comedy.

I don’t care what kind of shows they are because it doesn’t matter. If it’s on TV, people will watch it. When people watch anything, their mind thinks about those things more than normal. When people have thoughts in their minds, they act more toward those thoughts. It’s how we work, it just is. So if you’re watching a show about getting away with murder and about how black people are different, or “blackish” your mind will have those thoughts. ABC and all other media understand this, of course they do. They also understand that it makes them rich. They don’t care how it affects viewers, only that it makes them more money. That’s the name of the game. See how far you can push it and let the money roll in. It’s not right.

Can’t Smell Anything

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I’ve had this cold for about 10 days now. It’s been a bit of a doozy. It started off quite mellow, but has intensified with age. Usually with my colds, the first couple of days are pretty bad, then they really mellow off after that.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because for the past 5 days or so, I haven’t had my sense of smell intact. While I imagine life would be a drab place with no smell, losing that sensation for a week or so has proven to be kind of handy, although I know I could be taking fuller advantage of my new power.

lossofsmellSome of the benefits of having no sense of smell is that I can try just about any food and be pleased. This is the biggest one I haven’t taken full advantage of yet. I suppose I could put horseradish on my waffles this morning for breakfast, and have no real problem with it. It’s a shame I haven’t been invited to any dinners by terrible chefs lately. I did have some food off the grill that I assume was very good. One of the items was grilled beets. I’ve never tried them before, and I still kind of feel like I haven’t yet tried them. The texture was fine, just like a more firm grilled potato chunk.

See, when I eat now, I mostly pay attention to textures. I had some desserts, and enjoyed them because of the cake/creamy like textures. Now, another cool thing about this is that I’m learning how my taste buds work. We all know that smell is a big part of tasting food, but man, I didn’t realize just how much before now. When I eat sweet things, I can feel the sweetness on my tongue. It just happens along the sides, in the rear two thirds of my tongue. No sweetness in the front or middle.

Sweet is the strongest taste feeling I get. I can just barely pick up anything salty. I haven’t really pinpointed where I can feel that on my tongue. I do feel some bitterness right at the back of the tongue, but it’s also not as strong as the sweetness.

So anyway, I thought I’d share my fun on here. My main concern while this lasts, is that my house doesn’t smell like something died inside. I also have been showering myself, and brushing my teeth a little more carefully, as I can’t taste bad breath, or smell if I need to put on a bit more deodorant.

Oh, last thing, that picture is one I found after I searched for images of “loss of smell.”

My Job

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My job is neat. This week I taught a Swiss friend his first flip on a wakeboard. Just tonight I discussed good music with a Russian dude I just met a couple days ago, and have been watching him improve on a wakeboard. Good times, good times.

April Fool’s Birthday

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About a month ago, I quietly changed my birth date on Facebook to April 1. Now that it’s March 31, I’ve gotten at least ten birthday wishes so far. I kind of feel bad because a lot of them are from foreigners, and I wasn’t sure if they knew about April Fool’s Day. But my Swiss friend Sascha said he knew about it.

Anyway, if you made it here through Facebook, the secret is out! Last year on my real birthday, I hid the date so as to avoid all the well wishing emails and such. I even like to be a hermit online.

Give that there image a click if you want to see a list of pranks online for this year. In the past, some of the best I’ve seen are Slashdot’s flooding of pony related updates, ThinkGeek’s ridiculous products like wireless power adapters, and YouTube’s Rick Rolling of every link from their home page.

Sweat

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GrossRecently I happened to find myself at a website for a new Gold’s Gym game for the Wii. I instantly cringed at this image. That splash around her can only be intended to be sweat, right? I mean she’s fake working out, and when you really work out you sweat, so it must be. So if I get this game, my entire living room will be soaking wet, it will smell worse than a gym in New Jersey, and I’ll be so dehydrated that I’ll have to be driven to the emergency room? So nasty. Thanks Gold’s.

Middle-of-post-update: Hahaha, I just watched the video on that site. There is an awesome awkward mustache man dancing with a bunch of younger pony tailed workout girls about three quarters of the way through the video. Wonderful!

I might as well talk about my feelings toward video games requiring any physical effort more than movements of less than an inch by a few fingers.

No thanks.

I’ll admit it’s a genius marketing move. So many non-geeks and baby boomers now own video game consoles that it’s ridiculous. But for me, I have a bowling alley up the street, I own a tennis racket (racquet? nah, this is America!), I have basketball shoes, I can go to a real gym if I so choose, and I enjoy a sweat-free smell to my living room. Now if I want to run around killing zombies and what not, I’ll use one of my various video game consoles. And even if I do want to pretend to do something I already do outside, I’d rather just watch the little dude on TV do whatever it is I tell him to do with my thumbs and fingers.